Yesterday was the hardest day of my life and it marks the beginning for the long road ahead for Caleb. We've had to make some hard decisions and I just hope they are the right ones. For two years I have been preparing Caleb for the surgery. The last six months we have talked about it almost everyday. I haven't done this to scare him, I've done this to really prepare him. Yesterday, I felt that all of our talks have paid off. Caleb was not overly scared or sad and his attitude was really inspirational. I asked if he understood why we were having the surgery and he has totally accepted everything. This is huge! He is braver than I could have ever hoped or imagined. Braver than I would have been. He is very familiar with what the fixator is going to look like and he has seen children doing amazing things with them on........................................skateboarding, swimming, and having fun. He knows he will have to be brave and strong and that pain is unavoidable. He also knows that the goal is to make him as comfortable as possible and he will have medicine to help make the pain go away or at least make it not so bad. If Caleb was scared or terrified, I couldn't have done it. He was making jokes in the prep room and making all the nurses laugh. The hardest part for Caleb was putting on the hospital gown because it was open in the back and everyone would see his butt. I swear that kid is adorable.
Josh agreed to go with Caleb while he was put to sleep. This was extremely hard for him to do and I am so glad he was able to keep it together and be there for him, because it was just too hard for me to do. He had to wear this crazy hospital jumpsuit and hairnet and Caleb was given a box of markers to give it some flare.
As hard to it is to imagine, this blog is making it somewhat easier to cope. I actually feel the love, prayers, and support and it is helping me tremendously. Thanks to everyone who has shown their concern for Caleb and our family. I also hope this blog might help another family in the future faced with similar circumstances.
Keeping cool and calm in front of Caleb has really helped him to be brave. I am so proud of him. Of course, I weep when he isn't around, but somehow we are staying strong in front of him. I know how important this is and as my sister-in-law reminded me, our strength will give HIM strength. In actuality, it really is the other way around. HIS strength is giving us strength.
Hi Noreen! I am a friend of Leah's and she recently told me about sweet Caleb and the huge surgery he just had. I thought I would take a peek at your blog and goodness you have so much on your plate girlfriend. My heart goes out to you and I guess I just wish we lived closer so I could help in some small way. You are SUCH a strong momma and I just want to encourage you to hang in there and keep fighting. This has definitely got to be a huge burden to carry and well, I know this sounds trite but God totally knows what you are going through girlie and he will help you carry this burden so you are not alone! You are an encouragement to me as I read this and realize that the problems that I complain about are trivial compared to what you are going through right now. I can tell you are a super strong woman though and you have an awesome hubby and I'm sure this time will pass before you know it. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sure it will be encouraging to many moms as it has been for me. Caleb will look back on this one day and remember none of the pain or tears. All he will remember is that his sweet momma was always there for him and he will remember this time with thankfulness for YOU.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Erica
Erica,
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much it has meant to us that people all over have been praying for Caleb and reading his story. The amount of love and support has been inspiring. God has definitely carried some of the burden for us and given Caleb the right attitude and made him braver than I could have ever hoped for. There has been very few moments of pain for Caleb, which has been truly incredible. It's feels like the hundreds of prayers have been answered and it feels like this might not be as hard as we thought it was going to be. Again, it is going to take a village and we could never do this alone. We are grateful we have that 'village'. Peopel have been really picking up the slack for us and we don't even have the words to express our gratitude. Thanks so much for your comment. You had my husband and I in tears.
Noreen